Ok, so first things first, what exactly is a “fear based decision” you ask? I define a fear based decision as a decision made with a “what if”…we all know when we add a “what if” to anything we’re not thinking positively, right? While it’s good to be prepared, it’s not good to put any energy at all into the worst case scenario. When you do that, you are asking the universe, and moving energy in that direction, therefore making the “what if” situation more likely to happen. For example, I should stay in this relationship, stay at the job I hate, etc., etc. because “what if” I can’t find anyone better, or what if I can’t find a better job? By asking yourself these questions, you are setting yourself up for those negative thoughts to become true. Have you ever had a thought that you wanted something to happen and out of nowhere it happens? It happens because you put the positive energy out there, not because you put negative energy out there. Put out positive thoughts, and you will attract positive things, put out negative thoughts, and you will attract negative things. Makes sense?
Let’s dive deeper.
“I should stay at this job that I hate because I have to pay bills (even though it doesn’t pay me my worth).” “I should stay at this job I hate because my family depends on the health insurance it provides.” While there is some validity to these reasons, I disagree, and let me tell you why. I was that girl I studied art, then interior design got my “dream job”. I forced myself to stay so I could pay the bills and because that was what I thought I wanted to do with my life. I kept banging my head on a wall and trying to find the joy in it EVERY FREKIN DAY. And let me tell you, it never changed. I hated it from the VERY first day for almost five years. I finally got the courage to leave because I was so unhappy there. And you know what, I never looked back, I figured out the money thing, I figured out the health insurance thing. Now that I am on the other side looking back, I have no idea why I stayed for so long. Maybe because it gave me a false sense of security? Keep this in mind…you never truly know what could happen. Look at the world today, who knew that things would be the way that they are now (maybe you knew if you’re a psychic), but seriously though, you just NEVER KNOW. We are not truly in control of anything. Most importantly, I believe, that when you are doing what you truly want to do and working hard at it, the universe will meet you with exactly what you need, and you will figure it out. I am living proof. So don’t let your fear hold you back. Quit that crappy job. But before you do that, make sure to get a clear picture of where you want to go and what you want to do. Definitely not suggesting you just quit willy-nilly, but sit with yourself, meditate, think on it. IT WILL COME TO YOU. PROMISE. If you hate what you are doing with your life, change it. Life is not supposed to be miserable.
“I am getting older I should really just stay in this relationship even though I’m not getting what I want.” “I should just stay in this relationship because this is how all relationships are.” Ok so first things first, if you are clearly communicating your needs to your significant other and they aren’t being met, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Get out now, but first think on this: if your significant other is TRYING and failing left and right, but you know in your heart that they are truly TRYING their best, you need to check yo-self. Don’t let your perfectionism get in the way of this decision. Relationships are all about two people doing their best and encouraging each other to do their best and being supportive along the way. If it feels one sided, don’t let your fear hold you back. There IS someone out there for you who will meet your needs and when/if they fail to, you will KNOW they tried. And that’s all you can really ask for right? Because let’s be honest guys and gals, we are really dating the same person over and over agin until we get it “right”, aren’t we? And getting it right usually happens when you start to move past your fear in life…they walk in when you demand more and become fearless.
“UGH if I was thinner I would find someone.” HA. False, we all know it. This is just wrong and it goes deeper than how we look on the outside. We constantly judge ourselves on how our exterior skin looks and fear we won’t be loved and strive to be “perfect” rather than loving ourselves first. That is the trick here: LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. Because if you don’t, then no one will. How you look on the outside doesn’t matter. Your insides will shine out of your face like the sun when you love yourself first, and you will attract what you want in your life.
Fear keeps you stuck and doesn’t allow you to ask for what you need. Do you really want to miss an opportunity for growth and learning because you’re scared? If you’re not scared, your dreams aren’t big enough. Just go for it and stay positive, remember fear is your best friend. Without it, you would stay stuck. Fear is your body’s way of saying hey, change something! So why not listen to it? Why not grow? After all, isn’t that what life is all about?
Stay strong, positive, happy and healthy!
From my heart to yours,